I’m meeting two oncologists. One was today. He ordered a PET scan – that will be Wednesday – and we have no treatment plan because of my other areas I need biopsies on now. Also Wednesday. But he did tell me that because of my tumor size, I would be considered Stage 2. And that’s if it hasn’t spread anywhere else. That’s what the PET scan will show or hopefully not show.
Tomorrow I will meet the second one who will probably tell me the same stuff, but she’s five minutes from my house. I think he realized by the end of today I would probably end up with her. She’s close. I’m not a good candidate for a clinical trial because my main concern is neuropathy. I don’t care if my hair falls out. I don’t care if my breasts have to be removed. I don’t care about anything except being alive after all this is done, being a happy little family, and being able to keep doing what I love.
I love my work. I am a stenographer. I help people in intimate settings and at large events. I have helped amazing intelligent people in college work towards and achieve their degrees. Having a disability should never hold someone back from their dreams, no matter how large or how small. I honestly believe that many of the people I have worked with will change the world for the better, and I am humbled to have played my small part.
Neuropathy is numbness. I talked to a neighbor who survived Stage 3 esophageal cancer – treated by the oncologist I’m going to see tomorrow – and he has some numbness in his fingers and feet. He has to be careful how he walks. I know being alive is the ultimate goal, but I don’t want to have to figure out something new to love because I can’t feel my fingers and control where they go.
At the end of the day, I still don’t have a treatment plan because I need additional testing and scans. Hopefully my PET scan will just show that I have naughty, naughty breasts and that’s it. Hopefully my biopsies will show no new cancers because if I have another one, and it’s hormone positive? That would change my treatment plan a lot.