I have been having dreams the last few nights. They were driven by anxiety. The anxiety was driven by waiting for my genetic counseling results. The results are in! And… (drum roll) – I tested positive for the BRCA1 mutation.
Let’s start with the fact that everyone has BRCA1 and BRCA2 and all the other genes they test for. BRCA stands for breast cancer susceptibility gene. Yes, even men have these. The purpose of these particular genes is to help regulate cell growth and suppress tumors. When they are normal, the body is happy, cancer does not appear. When they are mutated, your risk of cancer increases.
BRCA1 is associated with triple negative breast cancer which is the type of cancer I have. It’s often difficult to treat, but, again. I’m lucky. I was getting screened and tested. So far all tests have shown nothing spreading beyond the breast area. It’s often not found in time. I will keep telling myself I’m lucky, even on the days when I don’t feel very lucky.
Both BRCA1 and 2 are associated with breast, ovarian and pancreatic cancer. If you have a history of any of these cancers in your family, I would highly recommend getting genetic testing done so you can determine your risk and be screened sooner.
What now? I’m not 100% sure yet other than the tatas are definitely going tata and my ovaries shall follow suit. Why? Risk of recurrence. I could opt for a lumpectomy, but I’d have to get yearly mammograms and MRIs or something. If I go with a mastectomy, the risk of recurrence goes down 90%. Not zero, but I’ll take it.
But… your ovaries are not misbehaving! Ah, but they could. Removing them will decrease my risk of ovarian cancer by 96%. Better than 90%, closer to zero. I’ll take it. I had already opted out of fertility preservation as well. Chemotherapy most of the time will kill any chance a woman has of having children naturally without fertility treatments. Not always, but often. I am glad that these treatments are available for women who want children.
What about babies? Answer: I have two babies, they are furry and love to go on walks and take naps on the couch. I have never really had any drive to be a mother. I do love being an aunt though. I want them to grow up healthy and happy, and I want science and genetics research to keep moving forward quickly so that in the future risks can be mitigated and reduced without drastic surgical intervention.
I’m not going to lie. I love my tatas. They are glorious and have opened doors for me, mostly literally. Like, someone holds the door for me. They’ve made buying clothes tough, but when I do find the right outfits or dresses – mostly dresses – they make me look fabulous.
I will not get implants. The news about them has not been good lately, and I don’t want a foreign object placed in my body. I already have an invasive foreign object – pretty sure cancer wasn’t there to start with. There are other options for reconstruction that I will look into, or I could wear fake tatas. It will never be the same. I’ll miss them.
My ovaries? I’ll miss them too, but mainly because I’ll go into surgical menopause. I just was looking this up to try to get the words right and found what the procedure is called: oophorectomy. That’s right. Ooph!