Well, poo. I won’t be able to start my treatment on August 6th as planned. Instead, on August 6th I’ll be having an ultrasound as it is required for the clinical trial. And then we have to push everything back until after we get back from vacation.
Good part? I get to try some West Coast beers!
Bad part? Delaying treatment. Again. There’s an underlying anxiety that it will just suddenly race into my lymph nodes and suddenly I’ll be much, much sicker very quickly. Is it rational? Probably not.
Other bad part? The new start date - August 20 - is right before a big three-day job. So, do I give up the job or attempt to suffer through? Maybe I’ll have no side effects right away. Or maybe I won’t be able to leave the toilet. Or ask to delay to the 27th? After all, what’s one more week?
Cancer is never convenient, obviously, but sheesh. This is dragging on forever. I read stories of others who go from diagnosis to treatment in three weeks. Am I okay delaying so long? It’s been almost two months since I was diagnosed.
Basically, I’m scared. I will probably need my anxiety meds sooner rather than later.
In other news… I’ve been working out almost every day! I am not eating very well, admittedly, but at least I’ve got part of it down. I feel like I need to eat all my favorite foods now since the drugs might change how things taste, and who knows if it’ll ever taste the same. I do throw in quite a few vegetables, though, because I actually like them. But in between the veggies are nachos and basically anything in the Mexican food family.
And now I’ve googled how fast can breast cancer grow and am thoroughly freaked out. I guess we’ll see on Tuesday if it’s decided to do something stupid like double in size since it was first found. At least it hadn’t grown much if at all in the weeks between my first ultrasound and my PET scan. That was about four weeks.
Don't google stuff like this.
Ohm.