I had an ultrasound yesterday. And blood work. Those are the last two pieces to get me registered for my clinical trial.
The blood work was kind of funny, because the phlebotomist, someone who is trained to draw blood, had extra tubes to fill that were normally not present, and different tubes that didn’t seem like they were filled, but they were. It’s not really funny, but we try to find humor in little quirks to keep our spirits up. At least I do.
After that it was time for the ultrasound. I had not really had a full tata ultrasound at all yet. Early on they had used it to find the tumor on my right side, and then to attempt to aspirate the cyst. Oops! Not a cyst. Biopsy then. And later to biopsy the other site found on my right side.
So, this was a full ultrasound on both sides. In the waiting for this, I was nervous. It’s been around two months since I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer. What if it had doubled in size and traveled to my lymph nodes? Or what if they found more spots of concern? What if, what if, what if???
I made sure the ultrasound tech knew that I knew how it was supposed to be, so we talked the whole way through. I was shown where the biggest spot is - measured at 1.99 yesterday, I wish that meant it was shrinking on its own. Not likely. It is posterior, meaning the back part of the breast tissue and very near the muscle and you could see my lungs on the ultrasound. They glisten. Kinda neat.
It was still there. Same place. Hadn’t wandered off to invade other part unknown. We didn’t spend any time on the smaller spot, but we also looked at the left side and saw the shading where my DCIS probably is. Fascinating.
After the imaging was done, the tech left to get the information to the doctor who would then come in and talk to me. I had seen this doctor in 2015 when I was being sent around to different facilities to have my tatas squished by all. I think I had three mammograms that year. This doctor had the mammogram done and then requested I be sent for an MRI.
The insurance company denied my MRI, so I didn’t get one.
Would the MRI have caught something suspicious that early? Maybe. Maybe not.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure smoke came out of the doctor’s ears as I relayed this information. I had all the things that should have made me a shoo-in for an MRI: Family history, age - I was 34 at mammogram time in 2015 most likely, dense breast tissue - I did not know this was a thing until my first mammogram, and now I’ve had so many people tell me that I have dense breast tissue and be fascinated by it that I know I’m fairly abnormal. Yesterday I was told most women have a mix of fatty and dense tissue, but mine are mostly dense tissue.
No wonder they never got much smaller when I’d lose weight.
Sidetracked. Sorry. Anyway, doctor was not happy because of the what ifs. What if we had found something earlier? Then I’d be through and done with all this stuff by now. What if insurance companies didn’t deny coverage for certain procedures based on actuarial tables and instead looked at the individual patient?
I will say, though, that was a different insurance company and it’s crazy how much more they pay attention when your actual diagnosis is 100% without a doubt breast cancer.
My wish from now to forever is that the insurance companies listen to the doctors. Most doctors don’t order tests willy-nilly. Most are genuinely concerned for their patients and want to do what is right for them.
What if I’d had an MRI in 2015? We’ll never know because I am currently unable to change the past.