I’m going flat.
Last week was the week of appointments. I had blood work and a mammogram + ultrasound on Monday, oncology on Tuesday, dentist on Wednesday - that was dependent on ‘passing’ my blood work and my oncologist saying yes, and they did! - Thursday off, Friday I met with a plastic surgeon, and Saturday was the chiropractor. Which doesn’t really have any bearing on my cancer treatment, but it was just another appointment. I also ended up at the doctor with my husband Friday afternoon, so technically it was seven appointments? He’s fine.
I’ve never been so excited to get my teeth cleaned.
Back on task! Why did I decide to go flat? Well, I was thinking of taking up skeleton racing - Google it if you don’t know what it is - and it’ll be much, much easier to lay down on the sled!
That’s not really it. No. It’s the surgeries. It’s the recovery. It’s the fact that I know I’d have to have an additional surgery if I wanted reconstruction because I’m a bit too chubby right now. But… if I lose the weight, I know the chunk ‘o pudge they’d want to use will get even smaller, and I was advised that I didn’t have much there to start with. That’s not where I carry my weight. I knew that.
I’ve also looked at pictures of the reconstruction surgeries, and I don’t see myself being happy with those scars. Depending on how they do the reconstruction, there are scars of different types on your breasts plus the scar across the belly where they cut you open to remove the fat. All of those wounds need time to heal.
I’m at peace with this decision.
Will I freak out a bit after surgery? Oh, probably. I’m asking someone to remove a piece of my body. Plus, I am hoping to get my reproductive organs all removed on the same day so I’ll pop over into menopause. Recovery is going to be a blast! Stupid BRCA gene thingy. Well, at least my tatas and my ovaries won’t try to kill me anymore. I hope.
I’m very thankful that I am able to make this decision. I’m always hopeful that no matter what decision a woman makes, her doctors will respect it and do their very best to honor their wishes. Reconstruction, flat; implants, flap surgery - we have choices, and I want everyone to be happy with their choice. Cancer takes away many of our choices, it’s good to have a little say in *something* in all of this madness.
Overall I am still feeling okay. I’m trying to push myself a little more with activity even though I’m still on my meds. I am so tired of having to rest so much. I don’t like it. I am planning to push myself in the short time between my end of treatment and my surgery. I want to try to get as strong as possible as fast as possible. And drop 10 lbs, which should hopefully be not too hard when I’m not taking a drug that is making me anemic.
No, eating or taking iron won’t help. I’m planning to write a post on anemia soon! I know you’re excited about it.