I’m in many types of therapy. My favorite is massage therapy. I also have been going to the chiropractor for a long time and getting therapy there. My job is very sedentary, so I end up spending a lot of time and money just keeping myself going to work. The latest therapy is just therapy. Talking to someone outside of this whole fiasco who has nothing to gain/lose by my feelings or thoughts on the subject.
I haven’t had very many of these types of therapy sessions. Perhaps I should have started sooner, but I feel like my therapist and I both are on the same page when it comes to what we need to work on. I’m very good at dealing with current and past trauma or issues. I’m very good - now - at self-talk and encouraging myself to get through tough times. I try not to engage in negative self-talk, which probably makes me very annoying to some people. I have no desire to ever be upset, so when things happen that should upset me, I often disallow it and instead focus on what can be done to fix it or what could have been done differently to avoid it. Or if those aren’t options, accepting the fact that bad things happen to good people every day and move on.
Basically, things that should bring me to my knees and cause me issues, I choose not to allow it. The only thing I allow is sadness where it’s warranted. I get sad when I think about my Mom and missing her. I get sad when I think of all our doggos that have gone to the rainbow bridge. I get sad when I think about friends who are hurting or sick or in pain.
But I do not get sad or upset over things outside of my control. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to function very well.
So, back to therapy. We are focusing forward. I’m apparently completely okay with being flat. That caused me zero anxiety. Going into menopause? That is what is causing me anxiety. It’s not that I’m upset about never having children or anything like that, I’m upset and worried about future me suffering from heart disease and having a heart attack and not being around as long as I’m supposed to.
We are working on this. I wish it were an irrational fear, but my Mom had her first heart attack at 48. I’m less than 10 years away from that, and my surgery will bring an increase risk of heart attack and bone density loss.
We will work on what I can do to mitigate this. All I can really do is to do what you’re supposed to do: Eat healthy and exercise.
So, I imagine I’ll continue therapy after surgery to continue working on this. I do recommend therapy for anyone who needs it, but I’m also quite aware of the prohibitive cost. I wish everyone could talk to someone outside of themselves and their situation who could help them. It’s weird how helpful it is.
Even for someone like me who thinks they can handle anything and works on their mental state every day to try to make sure of it. This is my first time in therapy, and I’m glad I’m able to go and talk to someone about my fears without being judged.
