Month: January 2021

Winter

Winter is pretty dreary where we live. We didn’t see the sun the first week or more of the year. It’s cold. I’d rather have the snow outside still to make it more special. Mostly it’s just overcast and bleh. It’s trying to snow right now, but not enough to bring back the magic of the recently melted snow.

Our backyard, covered in about 6 inches of snow. There are bushes and a tall burning bush in, a shed in the neighbor's yard. In the foreground is a table covered in snow.
*This* was snow.

It’s cold to walk in too! I walked 8 miles last Saturday. That was about all I could manage with the cold. I walked just under three on Tuesday, and I’m hoping to walk a lot more the next few days. As long as it’s not too cold. Walking in the cold sucks the life out of me. It’s no bueno.

 

But I’ll keep walking. To train, obviously, but also because my new oncologist was so excited that I’m walking. Walking helps against recurrence of cancer! 

 

At my three month checkup on Monday, we talked about this a bit. If I can make it through two years cancer-free, my prognosis is hella good. I’m almost a year in. I can do this! It turns out that super nasty aggressive cancers like I had tend to give up after a few years and then never wanna try again. Sounds like most New Year's Resolutions.

 

But I’m also feeling blah. I don’t know if it’s the weather or what. My blood work was a little crazy in the white blood cell area, but not enough for an oncology office to be concerned about. I’m hopeful that it’s just the weather and stress and all that stuff. It’s not likely to be COVID, although if it is, I can point to my husband as my only contact to trace. I really don’t go out in public. I do walk the dogs, but rarely see anyone else. Did I mention it’s cold out?

 

The one area of my life that is going exceedingly well is work. I’m still busy, and it appears that my two weeks off over the holidays were the perfect remedy. My writing is pretty beautiful these days with very few errors. I’m always pleased when I get through a job with nothing but minor oops. The days of the butter police may be in the past! (I was going for butterflies in their stomach… not sure how I got to butter police, but it’s good to know that someone is watching out for the butter of the world.)

 

So, that’s about it. I’ve been really bad about keeping up with my writing, but I don’t have much to write about most days. Maybe I’ll write about book club soon. It’s on Zoom, and I’ve read several books I probably would have never picked up before, so it’s been wonderful. Even when it came time for me to pick, I found one that I might never have read just because it’s not an 8-book story arc of epic fantasy.

 

I hope the new year is going well. I hope we will all get to hang out together safely soon. I miss all my people. Cheers!

Arthur and Edie asleep on the couch. They are both half under blankets, Arthur under a gray blanket and Edie under a yellow one. Arthur is brown. The couch is fake black leather.
We watch telly at night often. We cuddle there too.

Edie beagle asleep on her side - she is tri-color, black/brown/white. She is cuddled up against Arthur chi-mix who is curled into a little ball. They are on their beds in my office.
Cuddling has commenced.

PS - It tried to snow after I wrote this. It really did. It kinda covered everything, but not enough. It's okay. I feel better today.

 

Filed under: Uncategorized

Take a Deep Breath

I am having trouble sleeping. Melatonin used to work for me. Keeping busy all day used to work. Exercise. I slept like a baby during my cancer treatment. Probably something to do with the drugs.

 

Last night I fell asleep and woke up an hour later. Looking back, I think I had a panic attack. Gosh. What a surprise. It’s not like there’s anything going on in the world right now that could cause this. Nope.

 

But I also imagine this lack of sleep is a side effect of menopause. I get hot at night still even though my daytime hot flashes have calmed down a lot. I’m hesitant to get a lighter comforter because when I’m not hot, I’m fine. Plus, I don’t want my husband to freeze. Trying to be nice.

 

Tonight I’ll just try Tylenol. I am finding if I take it at night it helps. Not Tylenol PM, just regular. I’ve been sore off and on due to training, but I’m getting much, much stronger, so I’m not having as many issues as I was when I first started.

 

Last Saturday I walked 9 miles in just under 3 hours. I can’t seem to walk slower than a 20-minute mile, probably a side effect of a spouse with long legs and spending my life trying to keep up! Not a bad thing. My fastest miles currently are around 18 minutes and 30 seconds. I’m not sure how fast I should be aiming for, but that’s not terrible! 

 

This week I’m kind of just walking, getting back into work, using my new Ring Fit Adventure game on the Switch - you battle a monster with squats! - and my goal is to walk 18 miles between now - Thursday - and Sunday. No problem.

 

I am sad for the state of the country. I’ve been sad for a long time, but it has gotten worse since the attempted coup last week. I’m going to add that last sentence to the list of things I never thought I’d write. A Capitol Police Officer lost his life in the insurrection. Another committed suicide. I honestly have no feelings toward the people that stormed the Capitol and also lost their lives. Apparently they thought they were going to war. These things happen in war. The officers did not anticipate going to war that day, or perhaps should have, but were not advised properly and not given the correct support.

 

So, I’m also angry. I don’t get angry often, but this? As I said previously: Words matter. And to this day over a week later very few Republicans have stood up and disavowed the words that led to them hiding in rooms and in offices, under tables. They’re more upset by having to wear masks on the floor of the House after they refused to wear them when locked up with Democratic colleagues in an enclosed space. Subsequently, at least three Democrats have tested positive for COVID-19, including a 75-year old cancer survivor.

 

Oh, yes. I’m angry. The complete disregard for their health and the health of others as well as their calls for ‘unity’ when many of them objected to the Electoral College count - my rep was one of those asshats - honestly? No. There will be no ‘unity’ as it relates to attempted coups, insurrection and anti-maskers.

 

My only hope is that with the tech community finally standing up and dumping those advocating for war on their platforms that maybe we will make it through the Inauguration okay. I’m sad that President-elect Biden can’t take the Amtrak to his Inauguration because of security threats. I’m sad that instead of being able to focus 100% on getting the pandemic under control, he has to focus on getting extremist groups under control. I’m sad that so many people are so easily manipulated and think they’re under attack.

 

You’re not under attack. You’re just bored. Get a hobby. Maybe try reading - maybe you can learn to visualize the realities of war. I would suggest “The Beekeeper of Aleppo” maybe? It’s very good.

Filed under: Uncategorized

I Wanted to Write a Fun Blog About Training Today

Instead, I am writing about an attempt to overthrow the US government by a pathetic, weak man who has convinced his followers that they are right despite all evidence to the contrary.

 

I realize I probably lost a few readers right there. I… don’t care. 

 

I turned off the TV after listening to Republican congressmen begging for him to call off his followers. One of them compared it to his time in Iraq. Is this law and order? No.

 

Words have power. They really do. They have the power to raise up and heal, encourage. They also have the power to destroy. To convince people of ideas that, when looked at through a lens that hasn’t been warped, are insane. Like breaking into Congress to try to stop the Electoral College vote count.

 

Destruction of property? Wasn’t there other protesters that were accused of that, except often when you went back and really looked, it was some white anarchist lighting fire to things? 

 

The Electoral College is done. Joseph R. Biden Jr. will be the next President of the United States. Nothing can or should change that.

 

But I am angry. I am angry with the people who thought he ‘wasn’t that bad…’ or that he’d change for the better. 

 

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. The current occupant of our White House has shown it throughout his entire life that he does not care for anyone but himself. That he will throw you under the bus if you even think about going against him. That if you are Black, he thinks you are less than. 

 

I don’t cry while captioning much. It’s no fun because of the snot running down your face and the tears trickling into your mouth that you cannot do anything about because your hands are steady on the steno keyboard. I cried when a few of the Central Park Five told their story about being accused of rape and how a full page ad was taken out in the paper by the current president against them.

 

They were innocent. They spent years in jail. He doesn’t give a shit.

 

Anyway, as I was told four years ago when this buffoon was elected: You lost. Get over it. 

 

And my next call to action: Vote people out of office. Get people in office who have been poor, who have suffered in life. Get people in office who care about the American people. We need compassion for our fellow humans more than ever at this moment in time.

 

And if you cared enough to read until here, I have been doing my training! Today was a rest day. I walked 8 miles last Saturday. Monday was 4 miles and yesterday was body weight exercises. I’m supposed to walk again tomorrow. 6 or 7 miles probably. I listen to audiobooks while I’m walking. Current book: “Promised Land” by Barack Obama. Narrated by Barack Obama. It’s 29 hours long. I have 13 left. It’s so refreshing to listen to someone who actually knew what they were doing and understood world events. It’s a no-win job, but at least he tried FFS.

Filed under: Uncategorized