Let’s pretend that I don’t have cancer! I’m able to do that quite often these days. It stops for a moment at 7pm Eastern Standard Time (EST – EDT is Eastern Daylight Saving Time – Fun fact!) when I have to pop my pill, but that’s okay. Next week won’t be as easy. Monday I have blood work. Tuesday, oncologist appointment. Hint: They still won’t feel anything. Wednesday, ultrasound. I’m curious about the ultrasound. In my dream world, it will show that the cancer is receding rapidly and the pill is working and we have found the cure for cancer. But only for me. Because remember: Every cancer is different.
I’m not holding my breath, but dreams are dreams. Might as well have them. Since I’m dreaming, I’d also like a unicorn that shoots rainbows and makes everyone love each other all the time no matter what their differences are. That would be a really cool world to live in.
Other times I’m scared. Holy crap scared. But about my surgery. What if they damage the muscles in my chest and arms so much that I can’t work? What if I decide to do reconstruction and they give me a uniboob? It’s more the muscle stuff. I trust the doctors and surgeons I’m working with to not give me a uniboob. Unless I ask for one, in which case they will do their best to make me one.
I don’t think I’ll ask for a uniboob. Seems like it would be tough to find clothes that fit.
Now, I’d like us all to pretend something. Let’s all pretend that the unicorn is real and has escaped and is wreaking havoc on the world. And by wreaking havoc, I mean it’s running around spouting rainbows and causing everyone to get along and treat each other with respect and love. Not the stabby unicorn havoc. The happy, gentle unicorn.
No, I’m not on any drugs except talazoparib. I can almost say “talazoparib” now, by the way. I’m pretty proud of myself.