Category: Uncategorized

I Did Find a Swimsuit.

And I’ll show y’all eventually. But for now, you get the latest fashion from doctor appointments!

 

This week I ‘passed’ an ultrasound. I’d been having some tightness on my right scar on my chest and wasn’t really worried, but better safe! So, I got it checked out. They said if you gain weight, that can cause it, but I’ve actually lost a few pounds so I decided it was my bulging pectoral muscles causing an issue.

A picture of me wearing a pink wrap around top that is used for breast exams and a black and white patterned long skirt. My hair is short and I'm wearing a black mask.
2021 Trend!

 

Just roll with it.

 

And today I ‘passed’ my dermatology appointment. It was just a skin check, and I have some little skin anomalies, but nothing that they were worried about.

 

Go back next year!

Selfie wearing a blue paper top that opens in the back. I'm wearing a black mask and looking up at the camera, hair in my eyes. It's short, but I do need a haircut.
Or is this the top trend??

 

In a few weeks I’ll have my yearly physical where they’ll tell me that my vitamin D is low again and I need to take more and possibly that I’m iron deficient. After that I’ll see my oncologist in mid-October and hopefully ‘pass’ that one with everything within normal range. I’d like to get an appointment with a plastic surgeon before the end of the year too, but another part of me just wants to skate through a year without maxing out my out of pocket. So… maybe not.

 

And I’m going to really try a Couch to 5K. I am supposed to do a Mud Run in December, and it’d be fun to run parts between obstacles. And maybe just run some 5K races now and then just for fun!

 

I hope that all is well in your world. Mine is still pandemic-y, but also good. No complaints. Cheers!

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Wear a Mask

When I first wrote this post, I was angry. Stream of consciousness venting full of anger and frustration at people. I’m calmer now.

 

But... if you refuse to wear a mask in public spaces for any reason other than you actually can’t, I still think you’re a maskhole. And my bar for mask wearing is pretty damn high. If a quadriplegic who runs their wheelchair with their chin can wear a mask, guess what? So can you!

 

Public health should be everyone’s priority right now. I have people I care about all over the world who are immunocompromised. Some are vaccinated, but their immune system isn’t strong enough even with the vaccine to fight off COVID. Some are unable to be vaccinated because their systems are so compromised, they just can’t. 

 

And apparently masking to protect each other is an ‘emotional issue’ for some people. Guess what? My friends staying safe and not dying is an ‘emotional issue’ for me. 

 

Well, they should just stay home! Oh? Well, I think you should just stay home if you’re unvaccinated and/or refuse to mask up. If you’re unvaccinated, you are more likely to take an ICU or other hospital bed. My friends need those beds. 

 

I work with disabled people. They have been discriminated against for forever - doctors assuming they can’t understand what’s going on/can’t advocate for themselves. And during this little pandemic? A very real fear that if there were one bed open and two patients who were exactly the same level of illness, same age, same sex, with the only difference being one has a disability? Who gets the bed?

 

Yes. This is a real fear. And you know what? I’m okay with a hospital choosing a bed for a vaccinated person over a willfully unvaccinated person at this point, because we’ve all had the opportunity to get the vaccine for free - aka paid for by our tax dollars - and instead people choose to print fake cards and ingest horse dewormer. Because that makes sense.

 

These are realities happening in hospitals primarily in the South currently, and it’s burning out the health care workers. Community transmission rates are high everywhere, but hospitals in some states are close to collapse. They don’t have the staff to take care of all the patients. A hospital near me has had almost a 25% increase in transfer patients lately. We have a pretty high vaccination rate, so our hospitals are not straining under the pressure like they were last year.

 

So, you’ve chosen to go about your life unvaccinated, no mask, and now you’re sick with COVID. The only bed available for you is three states over. Assuming they can get you there before you go too far downhill, you have no support system nearby. No one to advocate for you. If you die, it’s alone. Just like last year when we didn’t have many good treatment options and no vaccines. And you know what? The health care workers might not really care that much either because you chose this.

 

So, when does this end? When do I stop telling you you’re a maskhole? 

 

At the rate we’re going? Never. Get vaccinated. Wear a mask. If you think this is a political issue, guess what? It’s not. Except that places where people I love live - I’m looking at you, Florida - have made it a political issue and have not taken the steps needed to protect people, especially children.

 

Masks save lives. Vaccinations save lives. If you want this to be over, stop for a moment and consider how your actions can affect people outside of yourself. It’s called empathy and living in a modern society. Freedom is not free. We all have to work together to earn it.

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Swimsuits

I mean, shopping for swimsuits is not fun in the best of times. Especially for hippy or large-chested women. But. I could find a swimsuit when I was hippy and large-chested, even if my husband was not allowed to watch me put it on because it sounded like I was applying a rubber hose to my body and it was squeaky and hilarious.

 

But I got it on, and it fit, and it made me look good! If not a little tired from all the effort to get it on.

 

Now? Swimsuits for women who have chosen to go flat do not exist. 

 

Unless you want to wear a Speedo suit like they use in competitions. No. I have hips. I have legs. My stomach is still a work in progress since a full removal of all reproductive bits. And my chest is flat. Flat, flat. 

 

I need a swimsuit. I have things coming up that I might want to swim. Or at least look like I want to swim.

 

What to do? 

 

I’m working on a Frankensuit. Bottoms are easy. I’ve found many options of cute skirts and leggings or regular swimsuit bottoms, shorts. Got it. No problem.

 

Tops? Yeah. No. They all have cups in them or forms or something. I don’t want anything. Mastectomy suits? Higher lines to hide your scars! Cups for your prosthetics! I don’t wear prosthetics. I don’t want to. 

 

Does it make people uncomfortable that women might choose to go flat and not worry about wearing anything to approximate a breast? Why? I am not interested in prosthetics. It is a personal choice and I support whatever choice someone makes. I wish swimsuit manufacturers felt the same.

 

So, well, I guess I’ll be buying a men’s swim top! Sizing could be interesting, and I don’t really want one with tight short sleeves. Maybe tight long sleeves? Or a t-shirt type? 

 

I can be 50% cute, I guess. Assuming I can find a cute bottom.

 

I’m not taking this personally. I know from reading comments that I’m not the only one with this issue. It’s very outside of the realm of many peoples’ understanding of the world that someone would choose a flat chest over reconstruction or prosthetics. I get it.

 

But it doesn’t make it any easier or less frustrating. Although… I could just swim topless. No nipples, no problem! Oh! Am I making you uncomfortable? Guess what is way more uncomfortable than your opinion of my body! 

 

Cancer. Cancer treatment. Needles and drugs that change your body in ways that just suck. Decisions about a surgery that has no good answers. None of us will ever be the same no matter how small or large our surgery was or what kind of treatment we went through. 

 

I do hope everyone has a good summer and gets to wear a cute swimsuit. Really. I’ll report back on what I come up with!

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The Thank You Post

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who supported me in this adventure.  To my new family ‑‑ welcome!  I like dogs.  In case you haven't gleaned that from my Facebook feed.  To my family and friends who supported me in my journey ‑‑ thank you.  And I'll be asking for your financial support to do another adventure next year, not gonna lie. or you can support someone now by contributing to their fundraiser at Project Athena.

Looking out from the top of the last hotel. Overlooks the Pacific Ocean, about a block away, and there are palm trees and blue sky, some building, but just pretty.
I could get used to this...

Thank you to Robyn for founding Project Athena and the Athena Adventures, and leading us through San Diego and points north.  You never seem to tire and are always positive and I love that you walk with the memory of those who have gone from this world.  They will live forever through you and your work. Also, I still cannot get Pink’s “Raise Your Glass” out of my head. It’s running on repeat as I write this almost a week after we finished. Also, thank you for keeping us fully stocked in electrolytes and vitamins our bodies needed. It was funny when I had to have extra because I'm so white. Yes, I'm kind of translucent. It is true.

Looking off of the roof of the hotel where the pool is. It's getting to be night, the moon is up and almost full. The sky is clear. Overlooking Oceanside.
Goodnight, moon.

Thank you to Piper for being an amazing trainer.  You put together a plan that kept me moving most days and resting on days when I needed rest, and when the Pfizer shot kicked my butt on a required walk weekend, you totally understood.  And I wanted to keep you smiling, so I totally walked 12 miles that Sunday after that Saturday that I'm just going to forget because it was no fun.

Thank you to the crew for taking such good care of us and to our reaper for not leaving anyone behind. It was more support than I’d expected, but also exactly what we needed. Why, yes. I’d love for you to fill my water bladder! I drank more than I’d drank in training thanks to y’all!

A pile of wrappers for band-aids and stuff that I used on my feet. Also, a head lamp that I used to help look at them.
This is the better option than a picture of my feet. Believe me.

Thank you to my husband.  Between work and training, we would have a celebration if I managed to load the dishwasher for the last few months.  Thank you to my doggos for being the best cuddle buddies ever when needed, and helping me still get out on rest days and that one day where I did a mile and a half in like 45 minutes because they were with me and, well, gotta sniff everything.  You know? still counts.

And thank you to my new friends. You’re all an inspiration to me and I’m so glad we got to meet. Y’alls feet were nasty by the end of day two, but we were still smiling and having fun. I can’t think of a better group of humans I could have done this adventure with.

Selfie on a plane. I'm wearing my Athena Adventures hat, but over it is the wreath we got at the end. I'm holding up my medal. I'm wearing a black mask. I'm smiling though.
See? We did it!!

And thank you to my feet.  Feet are what you need to walk.  Hiking poles are lifesavers, but at the end of the day, my feet took the brunt of the hike. Epsom salts and nice lotions for you two!  

And lastly, I wonder how many feet Robyn and company have touched over the years?  Maybe I don't want to know.  

Looking forward to many more adventures! Time to get a bike and start getting ready!

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The Walk – Day 2

This is my 100th blog post since I started trying to deal with cancer in June 2019. Wowza. Here we go!

Selfie. It's morning. The Pacific Ocean is behind me and there's a beach in front of that. My hair is kind of flying in the wind and I'm wearing a buff around my neck that says "Project Athena."
I'm awake. I think.

Now, eight of us were to continue the next day, but Meagan's daughter decided to keep on keeping on.  She had spent her 13th birthday with us all day on Saturday.  I loved talking to her ‑‑ she's a bright young person ‑‑ and the fact she wanted to spend another day with us old people?  Sweet!  Maybe we are cool?  I don't know.

Anyway, call was 5:30 a.m. again.  Foot care was first. My right foot just had a weird ouch, and other people were in worse shape than I. The van then took us back to where we had landed the night before and all rolled out for breakfast.  Did I mention lots of food?  I was told not to diet while training.  No problem!  And then they provided all these snacks?  No problem!  Carb and protein up and head out for the day!

Want to follow along? Garmin Connect

Walking down a sandy trail, a hill to the left and the Pacific Ocean in front of us. Clouds with blue sky peeking out. You can see our shadows - three of us, - stretching out in front of us and a few Athenas further down the trail.
We are all very tall.

Torrey Pines park. Sand and brush and a dead-looking tree, the Pacific Ocean in the distance. Blue sky with clouds.
Torrey Pines area. Very pretty!

The hardest part of day two was getting started.  But we did it!  We got rolling a little after 6 a.m., and I, of course, forgot to start my Garmin so my husband was texting me... all okay?  Oh!  I started it and that sent the tracking so he could post it and now we're going for realz. We saw lots of stuff on day two including the Cardiff Kook. It’s a statue in Cardiff, California, meant to represent a beginner surfer - a kook - and people decorate it all the time. It was decorated for a birthday on this particular day. Happy birthday, Rhett!

The Cardiff Kook. It's a tall pedestal with a beginner surfer dude on top of it. It's decorated for Rhett's birthday with blue streamers and a sign.
The Cardiff Kook.

Now, let's talk about trains.  There were some train tracks, and maybe we were walking a little close to them, and... the train conductor was laying on his horn and it was all very exciting.  I guess that is dependent on who you ask. I found it exciting, if a little close to some cliffs. No problem!

A train on the tracks to the left heading to the right, moving fast, at a controlled intersection. Blue sky. It's a commuter train I think.
TRAIN!! AAAAHHH!!!

And then there were sand dunes where maybe we were a little close to the edge, and maybe we had to slide down some parts, but who’s counting?  Anyway, the next time we saw a train which was at a controlled crossing, half of us balked at going across, so I have a picture of a train.  

And the last hotel?  There were train tracks next to it to ensure that we all would never forget the excitement of trains in our trek.

There was another dog beach on day two - the Del Mar Dog Beach. I still wonder how we all finished with all the doggos around us and oh my they were cute! We eventually had to stop stopping to pet every single one, but some were so excited you couldn’t help it. You just had to pet them.

The Pacific Ocean, waves coming into the beach, blue sky. A black dog being walked coming into frame from the right.
So beautiful and DOG!!!

Del Mar Dog Beach. The Pacific Ocean is to the right and out - it's like a bay - and the dog beach is to the left. There are people with their dogs on the beach and in the water. Blue sky.
Del Mar Dog Beach. The happiest place on Earth.

Back on track! Yes, I’m a comedian, I just don’t do shows. 

Since we all survived the trains, we were obviously all going to finish.  Our feet maybe didn’t agree, but luckily for us, our irrational brains were in charge. I had a pinky toe blister that finally gave out between lunch and our final stop. Got it looked at, added some extra lubrication to keep it from rubbing more, and kept going. I ended up with quite a few blisters, and others had even more. I wonder if Lex’s foot is still oozing?

A pond with an eclectic mix of decorations put into it. It's very small and surrounded by native plants. There are gnomes and lobsters and all sorts of plastic things all around it. Very coloful. Mountains and blue sky in the background.
Well, this is interesting...

But we had a crew of firefighters and paramedics looking after that. I totally forgot to mention that for anyone who was worried about our health. Almost everyone on the crew is or has been a firefighter or paramedic at some point as well as being endurance athletes or participating in previous adventures. We were well cared for.

Walking down a beach. An Athena is to the right in the photo. There are dogs ahead as well. Houses and palm trees to the right. Blue sky.
Walking and... DOGS!!!

Selfie. I'm smiling a little, wearing sunglasses and my Athena buff. Lucy and the reaper trail behind me. The Pacific Ocean is on the right and we are walking on sand. The sky is cloudy.
Bringing up the rear!! We rock!! Woot!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lucy and I had been bringing up the rear most of the walk, which is fine with me!  But at the end, we sent Lucy out in front and OMG she took off!  She grabbed my hand, and away we flew! We were doing sub‑20 minute miles for the last mile and my short little legs ‑‑ yes, I have short legs ‑‑ were like... ahhhhh!!

A blue older truck parked on a road. It's a Tequila truck and it's lowered and totally impractical.
A tequila truck? Okay.

But I'm so glad she was in front and pulled us across the finish line.  26 miles for day two, finishing at the Oceanside Fishing Pier?  What?  We just did that?  What... and then we realized there was another finish line up top, so we all ran up to the top of the Pier.  And by ran, I mean walked slightly faster than would have been possible 3 miles ago, and then we had our final finish line.

A cliff down to the Pacific Ocean. It's probably all made of sand, so... be careful. The waves are hitting the shoreline. An Athena is ahead taking a picture out over the ocean. Far ahead. Blue sky with a few clouds.
Again, San Diego area... you so pretty!

The first day we got medals for finishing. 25 miles is a lot.  The second day we got wreaths.  We were goddesses now for real.  Athenas. We had done it.  

I started this journey by myself, hoping to walk for my survival, the survival of those I know who have fought and won, who are still fighting, and for the memory of those who have lost their battles.  I did not expect to come out of it with a gang of crazy awesome friends who are going to keep pushing each others’ limits.

Later in the day, the sun to the west. The Pacific Ocean to the left. Athenas in front of me as we walk on a sidewalk overlooking the shoreline.
Like... can it get any more beautiful?

The last hotel was very nice and near the water and I wish I would have been more awake.  It was right next to our final dinner spot where I ate tacos.  If I'm ever visiting and you are not sure what to feed me, tacos ‑‑ or nachos ‑‑ are a good place to start!  Always.  I only managed half of my dessert brownie, and my feet hurt like nobody's business, but whatever.

A giant chocolate brownie with ice cream and whipped cream on top of it.
This was so good....

 

 

 

Cancer took a lot from us, but no way are we letting it take our joy and our strength. But yes, I would like to put my feet up. 

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The Walk – Day 1

Are you ready? I was ready!

Looking off of my hotel balcony in the earlyl morning over the marina. Lots of boats, the sky is cloudy and just starting to show light.
WAKE UP!!!

Call time to meet was 5:30 a.m., but being from the East Coast, I had no trouble going to bed at 7:30 p.m.  Seriously.  That time change heading east to west is easy!  I'm pretty sure I'm still trying to get back to East Coast time over a week out though.  C'est la vie. I slept like a log that first night.

Somehow we’d mostly ended up with our own rooms, which was unexpected, but welcome. You never know who in the group might be an epic snorer. Heck, maybe I am and that’s why my husband wears earplugs? Naw…

Selfie of me. I descirbe what I'm wearing in the blog post, and I'm smiling. The Athena shirt is orange.
Look! i got dressed! Woot!

I got up just before 5am and started to get dressed. Before I’d gotten very far, I remembered body glide. If you’re doing any sort of distance thing, you’ll need it. Things rub in weird places no matter what you do, so applying that to whatever areas need it is essential. Got that on. Got dressed - which takes longer than you’d think. Leggings, toe socks - those take a special kind of patience to get on - lymphedema sleeves - a struggle to get on and then to make sure you don’t have any creases. Creases are bad. A shirt. Check bag to ensure all water bottles are attached somewhere. Water bladder is full. I’d done most of that stuff the night before, but never hurts to double check! Head buff. Sunglasses. Fingerless gloves to keep the sun off my hands/protect them from blisters from my walking poles. Put walking poles across chest. One fabulous side effect of having a bag with no place to attach poles and having a flat chest is being able to strap stuff across your chest! 

We were to be downstairs at 5:30 a.m.  We all got there on time and got gold stars!  Woohoo!  Gold stars were given out for showing up on time and getting back from the bathrooms and stuff on time so we could finish our walk before midnight.

Want to see where we walked? Garmin Connect

We had a great beginning to the day and got our “Whatever it takes!” pink wristbands for day one.  We were all in our Project Athena gear and ready to roll.  We made it a half a block and made our first stop at Cancer Survivors Park.  It was pretty cool, and a good way to start off the day.

An outside statue installation. There are bronze squares that form a tunnel and people are behind, one person is entering, and a family is on the other side, having made it through the trials of cancer. All in bronze.
Working our way to the other side of the tunnel that is cancer.

Blue sky with some clouds, a park with green grass with a domed open-air building. The dome is blue tiles with other colors, hard to see from this angle. There are a few other Athenas walking ahead of me.

And then we started walking.  From the very beginning, I felt we were carrying each other.  We had all survived some shit, and it was time to put that in the rearview mirror for a time and focus on getting everyone across the finish line.  We were all young cancer survivors ‑‑ I don't care if you're in your 50s or whatever, you're still young! ‑‑ and we were all doing something we never thought we would do.

And probably never would have done.  Except cancer.

I'm going to put a lot of pictures here from day one.

A shoreline of the Pacific Ocean. The cliffs are brown rock/sand and rise above the water. There are palm trees on top. The sky is clouds with some blue peeking through. The ocean is churning against the rocks.
Like... it's just so photogenic.

A white sign with blu lettering that says: Shelter Island.

A rocky/sandy/scrub brush shoreline overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Palm trees are near the edge before it drops off into the water.
San Diego is kind of pretty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We walked by a dog beach ‑‑ best day ever! 

A beach full of sand and dogs with their humans. The Pacific ocean is in the background, a blue sky with some clouds.
DOG BEACH!!

I had sent my husband a house the night before and suggested we buy it.  Bargain basement price of $25 million.  Yep.  Walked past it!

A giant, squarish modern house. It's light brown with darker brown aroudn the window areas, lots of windows. It's surrounded by a construction fence.
For the low, low price of $25 million...

It was an absolutely gorgeous day.  I think the high was 70, a few clouds now and then.  The ocean to our left for much of the walk.  When we couldn't see the ocean, we were walking by really interesting architecture.  We walked down a beach for a while, and it was amazing the amount of sand some of the team produced from their shoes when we stopped for our break.

A man sitting with his medium gray scruffy dog overlooking the Pacific Ocean. We are on an overlook made of stone.
See? DOG!! I'm still surprised we finished.

A pelican flying. It just looks dark. It's flying over the Pacific Ocean. Clouds and some blue sky above.
BIRDIE!!

And then we climbed Mount Soledad.  What?  Yes.  We climbed a mountain.  Although I think the mountain was maybe all of my hills put together that I was doing during my training walks.  Yay Western Pennsylvania hilliness!

A selfie of me on top of Mt. Soledad. San Diego is in the background. I'm smiling.
Hey! I climbed a mountain!!

But not everyone has hills like I do, so we encouraged each other up them.  There was a towline used with the reaper pulling one of our team along behind.  But that's what we were all there for.  To do this and finish as a team.  I know we had all trained alone or with friends in different places and different weather, but there was going to be no victory if we didn't get through this first day with everyone coming to the finish line and getting their tacos! I can’t help it. I really like tacos.

So, yes!  We climbed a mountain!  At the top is a giant white cross that is now a Veterans Memorial. And the views of San Diego and the Pacific were breathtaking.

A famous beach shelter on the Pacific Ocean. It's just a thatched roof on poles though. The ocean waves are coming in against the sandy shore, people ar on the beach.
This is famous.

A beach on the Pacific Ocean. Rolling waves coming in, blue sky with a few clouds. There's a lifeguard booth on stilts near the right side of the photo.
This one is mostly straight. So pretty!

 

 

 

Then we had to go down the mountain and this was about 20 miles in or something and my knees were like... yo.  Sup?  But we made it.  We all made it down the hill and we all made it to the end of day one.  We just did 25 miles?  What?

Walking down from Mt. Soledad on a road. There are trees and bushes and sand along the side of the road. The Pacific Ocean is in the distance. The sky is very blue.
Down the mountain. Go!

Along the way, we had lots of bathroom breaks.  The first one was the most memorable.  It was like a prison toilet with no doors.  Traumatic?  Sure.  But better than a nasty port‑a‑potty.  We also had stops in the morning and afternoon with snacks and drinks and foot care, and a great lunch with sub sandwiches and snacks and drinks.  At every stop, the fantastic crew filled our water up and looked at our feet if needed and took care of us.  They were our favorite people for these two days because we knew when we stopped, they would be there for us.

Love y'all!

A selfie of Lucy, me and Renee. Our faces are all cut off a bit because of the angle. The sky is mostly cloudy.
I take the best selfies.

I’m jumping around a bit, but I’m finding my memories of this adventure are not exactly linear. It’s like a ball of joy that keeps rolling around and showing me new things that I’d forgotten momentarily because I was thinking about tacos.

A sideways flag at an entrance that says, " Tacos and Beer" in orange letters on a white background.
Is this heaven?

On day one as we walked through La Jolla, a friend and her family came out to cheer us on. I was completely oblivious - I think we were over 15 miles at that point - but thank you again for coming out for us! 

The first day we ended at Torrey Pines Gliderport and we had tacos!  I ate a giant pile of tacos.  Maybe it was like a taco salad with some tortillas at the bottom, but whatever.  Tacos.

Evening. The sky is clouding up again. The Pacific Ocean is reflecting the light of the sun. A few gliders are in the air and we are looking out off of a balcony overlooking it all.
Next trip I think I'll try a glider!

We all had our jackets on by then - don’t let anyone tell you it never gets cold in California! - and were ready for rest.

After we ate, we all rolled into the van, and my watch hit 25 miles ‑‑ it had stopped for a bit over lunch, so we did more than 25. We rode in the van to the hotel.  It was a hotel.  We were all pretty exhausted, and although that was the case, I had trouble sleeping.  My body hurt.  My feet didn't hurt ‑‑ that would come after day two ‑‑ but my body hurt in ways that I can't explain. Probably not from the walking, though.  Probably from getting caught in the seat belt of the van for a bit.

A house entrance. It is round with a curved doorway, like you'd find in a castle, but much bigger. There is ivy growing all over it. The sky is blue, there are some native plants in the foreground.
I found this house I'm going to move into just because of the entrance.

As an aside, I had been going for weekly massages in the weeks leading up to the big walk because my hips are forever angry. He had gotten them into a better place, so I think my aches and pains were just a result of travel and walking. When was the last time you walked 25 miles in a day?

Waling along the beach, but we are on the sidewalk. The waves are rolling in and the sky is perfect blue. There are palm trees on the other side of the road we are walking by. Some Athenas are in front of me.
It's not hard to walk when it's so perfect out.

50 in two?

Meagan taking a picture of a giant sunflower outside of a hourse. The sunflower was as tall as the house!
Holy sunflower! Wow. And... pictures of people taking pictures!

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We Did It.

This will be four posts in four consecutive weeks, so feel free to hold off reading until they’re all posted, or read it and wait with baited breath for the next installment!

When I started to train to walk 50 miles in two days, it was to get myself in some sort of fitness state that was less couch‑oriented, and to prove to myself and everyone else that, no.  Cancer can't stop me.

Early morning heading to the airport. Orange sunrise.
Early start...

Last weekend I went for a 52‑ish mile walk.  When it was done it was no longer that *I* went for a 52‑ish mile walk.  It was *we* went for a 52‑ish mile walk.  I'm having trouble figuring out where to begin, but just know that the end is another beginning.  A beginning of new friendships with a bunch of crazy awesome ladies who are already planning the next adventure.  I am so honored to be part of this group of amazing strong survivors and supporters. 

Selfie sitting in a seat on Southwest Airlines. I'm wearing a black mask, my hair is short and a little unruly, and I have on a bright blue shirt.
After a year of not being around people... eeks!

On May 21st, 2021, I headed to the airport.  My husband dropped me off and shipped me off to San Diego for a trip of a lifetime.  I wore my mask as required on the plane, and honestly?  I don't think I'll ever fly maskless ever again.  The last time I flew with a mask on it was because of cancer treatment.  This time because of FAA guidelines ‑‑ although more and more people are getting vaccinated, so hopefully the light is at the end of the tunnel.  But really, when you land you feel so much more refreshed!  Recommended.

I took a lot of pictures on the plane.  I haven't done that in quite a while.  It could be because I was excited to fly again, or maybe I knew this trip was different.  This trip was 100% for me.  A step in my recovery that if you'd asked me just over a year ago about?  No way.  Never happening.  I could barely get out of bed in March of 2020, much less walk a mile.  50?  Get outta here!  You're nuts.

Looking out the airplane window. Part of the wing is visible. Snowcapped mountains in the distance and a few low clouds.
MOUNTAINS!!

Looking out the airplane window. Part of the wing is visible. There are round circles on the ground in the distance that make a square shape.
Weird crop circles? Manmade? Or...

Looking out the airplane window. Part of the wing is visible. Non-snow capped mountains are below.
MORE MOUNTAINS!!

Looking out the airplane window. Part of the wing is visible.  San Diego is sprawled out below us, the Pacific Ocean in the distance.
Almost there!

When I landed, I first met Stephanie and Lex.  They were on my plane, in fact, but Southwest being Southwest, we didn't find each other until we landed.  Which was fine, because we gave proper hugs and then we rode the shuttle to the first hotel together.  It was such a horrible, horrible hotel.  With horrible, horrible views of San Diego Marina.  Am I being sarcastic?  Absolutely.  It was freaking gorgeous!  I had my own balcony.  I sat on the balcony with the door open looking at the boats, watching seagulls, noting the fabulous people walking around below.  Wow.  Off to a great start.

I'm relaxed on my balcony, you can see my feet up on the table. I'm wearing rope sandals that are brown and blue. The rail of the balcony is in front of me and beyond that is the marina with all the boats moored. There are palm trees closer in.
I could get used to this!

Off to the bar!  I wasn't going to drink, though.  Not until I was done.  But it turns out Lex, Stephanie, and Tammy ‑‑ who we would meet later that day ‑‑ had all been training for this walk for a year and a half.  It turns out they were supposed to go in May of 2020.  I'll leave it to your imagination why that one was canceled.  Then October 2020.  But too many people dropped out.  So, now we are in May 2021 and nothing was going to stop them.  They were a true inspiration both days, dragging us all along to the finish, even as Lex's foot juiced everywhere. That was kinda gross. Sorry, Lex. 

Foreshadowing... ha, ha, ha!

That first night, we all met in the bar for the welcome dinner.  Tacos!  I love tacos.  I can't explain how much I love tacos, just that every time I was offered tacos on this trip, I ate tacos.

The open air bar at the hotel. No people are present in the picture, but there are posts that are holding up shade overhead and palms and a barrel.
Outdoor living is why I think San Diego would be an ideal place to live. This is the hotel bar.

Aside from the tacos, we got to finally meet all of our teammates!  Stephanie, Lex, Diane, Lucy, Tammy, and Renee for the survivors camp, and Meagan ‑‑ our wonderful photographer and fellow endurance walker as well as her daughter who would be turning 13 on that Saturday and had chosen to walk with us. You are my hero too, Gloria. Although all the pictures here are mine, Meagan’s are better 

And Robyn, our fearless leader, and the support crew, including our trainer, Piper, who would take care of us at every stop.  And the reaper.  That's the person who follows in the back to make sure everyone stays together and no one gets left behind.  I could see myself in that role someday.  I'm fine rolling in the rear of the train!

Looking down from my balcony at the hotel pool. It's irregular shaped with palm trees around it. The outdoor bar where we all met the first night is also visible.
I did not go in the pool. I haven't quite gotten to the swimsuit part of my recovery!

We had a wonderful, inspirational first meeting.  It was great to go around and tell our story.  Three of us were BRCA1.  This leads me to believe that the BRCA1 gene also leads to questionable life choices at times.  But whatever it takes! That was to be our motto for day one. And it’s so very true.

And I had tacos. Did I mention I like tacos? And there was swag! We all got hats and a buff - I wore the buff both days on my head since that’s what I trained in. I’m weird about hats. Although I’ve been wearing it around walking the dogs since I got back and it’s very comfortable. Also, two Project Athena shirts we would wear to walk in. They are pretty fabulous and very comfortable. It’s like the organizers know what the heck they’re doing 10 or so years in! (Hint: everyone involved is awesome.)

We had name tags to put on our bags for the van and our backpacks. I think this is the first time I’ve learned that many names in that short amount of time in my entire life. I’m usually terrible with names, but this was different.

Panoramic photo of the outside of the hotel and the marina and the pool. Palm trees and water!
Just a terrible view... terrible.

After dinner Lucy and I grabbed the free s’mores and chatted for a bit. She’s my hero. Then it was off to early bed for everyone assuming they could fall asleep.

Boxes of water that look like little tall milk cartons. They say, "Boxed Water is Better."
They're right, you know...

Late in the day looking off the hotel balcony into the marina. There are lots of boats tied to the piers and the sun is reflecting off of the water, some light fluffy clouds. Closer in palm trees along the edge of the marina.

Next time: The Walk.

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I Promise…

I will provide a full accounting within the next few days! I just know that my subscribers get notifications on Thursday, so I don’t want anyone to think I forgot to write about the amazing adventure I just had. Nope. I just need to get my energy back, get through the work week (note to self: next time take at least one day off), and to the holiday weekend. 

 

I’ll write more then. But for now, just know that YES. I did it. Over 50 miles in two days!!! YES. I have blisters. NO. I did not require a wheelchair at the airport, although I did think about it…

 

And YES. It was a life-changing experience and I’ve got a whole herd of awesome new friends in my life. Yay!

 

Cheers!

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I Made It.

I walked 22 miles on Saturday, May 8. On a beautiful day. Except for that freak rainstorm and ice pelting me in the face. I could have stopped in a friend’s garage, but I was headed toward home to eat. Food is that important, yes. And then on Sunday I walked inside on a treadmill at a gym with a mask on using a day pass I got from their website.

 

I do not like treadmills. I felt like a hamster.

 

That was it. That was the last ‘big’ walk I had to do before my real big walk coming up this weekend. Since then, I’ve tapered off, walking less and less - only 8 miles last Saturday, slacker! - and today I did 30 minutes of yoga for flexibility. I might dance tomorrow for 30 minutes, but that’s it. My body has been resting up, and it has no idea what is coming.

 

Although I was encouraged by the event email referencing the ‘rigor mortis’ we all get after walking that far. It’s true. I feel like I can’t walk after all I’ve done is walk. It’s kinda weird.

 

So, off I go! I’m flying to San Diego on Friday! I’ll walk 25? 26? ...miles on Saturday and again on Sunday, and then fly home on Monday. I’ll be wearing a mask on the plane - most likely required plus I found when I landed I was way more ‘fresh’ when I was in cancer treatment and was wearing a mask to protect myself. 

 

I’ll lose out on the part where no one wants to sit next to me because I’m wearing a mask so obviously something is wrong with me. The only thing wrong with me then was that your nasty breathing might make me sick, yo. Now we’ve had a global pandemic, and though I’m fully vaccinated, I’ll probably always fly with a mask on.

 

I’m really excited. Tired. Excited. Worked too much last week. Slacking off a bit this week on purpose. 

 

Excited to travel again. I hope the next traveling is with my husband, though. Or husband plus dogs. That would be fine too. Maybe a little camping trip before mid-summer? We shall see!

 

Go out and take a walk this weekend and think of me! No need to walk as far as I am, though.

 

It’s crazy to think that just over a year ago I couldn’t get outta bed though… wow. I'll post pictures from my walks soon too. It was fun to watch the seasons change in my neighborhood. Highly recommended.

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I Walked 20 Miles Last Saturday

That’s how far I walked last Saturday.

 

It took me just under 7 hours. I stopped after 5 miles for a break, and then walked another 9. Stopped for lunch. Finish the last 6.

 

I made it.

 

It wasn’t easy, admittedly. And I was wearing new shoes. I’ve destroyed my first pair of Hoka One One shoes. Walking is becoming an expensive hobby! But I only had one mild blister, and I think I can alleviate even that because I hadn’t moved my orthotics into the new shoes. They last longer than the shoes, thankfully.

 

Toe socks, cushy shoes, lots of hydration - I messed up on that a bit the week prior for 16 miles - and making sure to eat my snacks are regular intervals. Plus wearing the right clothes, of course. I did it.

 

I still am a little amazed that I made it. With all this walking, they advised us not to diet, so I’m still carrying almost the most weight I’ve ever carried in my life at this point, but I did it. And I really felt like I could have busted out the last 5.

 

Because when you’ve walked that far and your next walk is 4 miles? No problem!

 

This weekend I am to walk 22 miles on Saturday and then 3 hours of moving on Sunday. After that, I’ll taper off until I fly to San Diego!

 

I am fully vaccinated, but I’ll be prepping my mask and charcoal filters to wear on the plane. I really don’t think I’ll ever fly maskless again. I’m excited and nervous and just keep cheering me on. I walk with the weight of many friends and family who can’t do a walk like this. They may just not be physically able to. Or they’re still fighting. Or they’ve left us too soon.

 

I walk for all of them.

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